Friday, August 1, 2014

7th Grade

Oh boy! Did my OCD really start to show up during this year of school!

To start off the season, I had begun my first year of full-contact American football (this sport, for those of you unfamiliar with USA sports: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_football). I definitely enjoyed it for what it was worth, but at the same time I was a very small kid in general (especially compared to the majority of my team), and I was not particularly skilled at it yet. On the first day of full-contact I was excited, VERY EXCITED!

However, I soon learned that it was not easy going up against some other teammates, and boy did it hurt! During dinner that night, I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened earlier at practice; I felt so bad for myself and just wanted to go to practice the next day so that I could redeem myself. But simultaneously, I was still scared of getting hurt. One might ask, "what does this have to do with OCD and ruminations???"; well I will tell you.

Every day before practice I would worry and worry about what was going to happen on the field that night. Most kids would shrug it off (I assume), but I could not let it go, as I was always worried sick. I would go to practice that night, it would end, and then I would be relieved. At least until the next morning where I would then think about injuring myself and/or getting hurt very bad all throughout the day (school and all). Rinse and repeat! This continued on until the end of the season, at which time I could rest easy for another 9 or so months before the 8th grade football season kicks off...



The first semester continued: Thanksgiving, my birthday, and finally Christmas passed by without much trouble. For Christmas I had received a week-long trip to Hawaii at the beginning of Summer break, and that was by-far the best Christmas gift I had ever gotten. I was so excited for the rest of Winter break and the entirety of the second semester! But then, sometime around March or April, I began to stress out about my grades.

I am a very good student with an average GPA of 3.5 (maybe a little higher), but yet my school had a Summer school policy where if you didn't please in terms of your grades you had to, well, attend Summer school. So that is when I started worrying about my grades. I would stress out and get all sweaty on the simplest of quizzes or assignments because I knew that I had to succeed. My worries about grades never held-up and I could not stop doubting my ability to complete assignments and achieve a pleasing score on them. I just knew that I couldn't go to Summer school because I wanted to go on my trip so bad!

Luckily, I ended that school year with promising grades (as usual...) and had a great time on my trip. But in the following years, my ruminations and worries attributed to my OCD ballooned and got worse. Strangely, my worries were much less-so normal thoughts and were instead quite unusual (simply, stuff that people should not worry about)

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